Parent interviews for the cute-as-buttons, yet slightly feral eleven year olds I teach, and I while away the evening explaining that we're going to be studying the playscript of 'Bugsy Malone' this term, possibly even putting it on as a proper show.

Cue a whole succession of grinning dads of embarrassed podgy white boys, insisting that their son be considered only for the parts of Fat Sam or Tallulah.

Honestly, you could feel the kids squirm.