The Blackboard Jungle

days spent beating back the seeds of doubt

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Incidentally, the events which fuelled that post led directly to a resignation letter.

I think Seprah hit a much bruised nerve in her estimation of the after-effects:
Perspective is such a strange and fleeting thing. It's one of those things that seems so logical and right. Well, if I can see it this way, of course it must be true. When you begin to lose perspective, the loss is an insidious entity that happens so slowly that only someone inhumanly self-aware would notice the change. The shift still retains that sense of rightness to you, but not to anyone else.

The thing to remember though, is that it happens to everyone. Those what was I thinking moments can be constructive so that one can better see the slippery slope the next time. Anyone who answers "no, never" is either lying or a hermit.

The reason I'm bringing this up is that a certain teacher has noticed that her temper has gone downhill. I was a much worse teacher. I was not afraid to yell and make a scene if my students disrupted class or cheated or tried to burn their textbooks in class. I tore up cheaters' tests in the middle of lessons and threw students out because they just could not be quiet.

But I also loved them all very much. One of the reasons I won't teach is that I ended up caring too much.
But it's all perspective. From my vantage point, it just looks as if a tired, abused teacher has finally reached the point where she needs to get out and regain composure. From hers, it's that something has gone terribly wrong.
The following term's posts are intended to be the last here at The Blackboard Jungle. Hopefully, the freshly gained perspective of things / days / souls that are soon to be sorely missed will make me kinder.